Notes from Amelia, Managing Mental Health with a Disability

I have now been living with my disability for 18 years and over time have learnt (often the hard way) mental health is as important, if not more important, than your physical health.  For every physical symptom, there is a mental impact and understanding this and supporting it is key.

So, to mark World Mental Health Day, I want to share 5 things I've learned that I hope may just help someone else support their mental as well as physical health when it comes to navigating life with a disability.  

Focus on what you can do, with people you love, doing things you enjoy

I spent a very long time (probably a decade) trying to live the life I thought I was going to, before my accident.  It was like flogging a wobbly, half dead horse and caused so much exhaustion, upset and pain both physically and mentally.  The second I switched and started looking at what I could do, with people who made me happy, doing things I enjoyed - my life was infinitely better, easier and more fun.  Simple things like choosing mobility aids that help you to move e.g. a single crutch instead of a walking stick can make the biggest difference. If you can, take time to look at what you like, that doesn't exhaust you or leave you feeling wiped out and do more of it (whilst doing less of the tiring stuff!).

Life with a disability will likely be different, but that doesn't mean it will be worse

Change isn't a negative and change as a result of health? It is so often a positive.  Did my injury change my life? 1000%.  Has it made it worse? I don't think so!  It's definitely different but I genuinely believe I'm happier now than I've ever been and so much of that is down to acquiring a disability and my consequent shift in perspective, priorities and purpose. 

How someone reacts to you, your disability, mobility aid, walking stick, crutches or any mobility aid is a reflection of them, not you

The world is not designed to include disability, as a result places, people and society in general tend not to understand it.  In turn, this means as a community we face a lot of barriers in daily life which can be hard. 

What someone says or does when it comes to your disability or mobility aids is often a bit of a litmus test for me.  If they react positively for example by saying 'wow that's stick is cool where did you get it' I know I like them instantly and similarly, if they shout 'woah what have you been doing to yourself', I know I'm likely to excuse myself and walk away. 

The key to all of this is understanding someone's behaviour is a reflection of them, not you. So whenever someone says or does anything to do with your mobility aids or disability it is just that - an opportunity to screen them and give you a heads up as to whether you want to have a chat or walk away!  Trying to remember this has made daily encounters with 'what happened to you' so much easier for me to navigate.

Movement is what matters, not how

This one is big for me, having used a range of mobility aids including hospital wheelchairs, whizzy wheelchairs, crutches, walking sticks, rollators, zimmers and more I can confidently say the priority is and always will be movement. 

It doesn't matter how you move but to keep moving is integral to your physical and mental wellbeing, even if it's just to get outside for a few short minutes, every second counts and finding the right mobility aids to help you move comfortably, safely and confidently is the most important thing.

Just because you move slower, does not mean you're behind

Adjusting to a disability is complex but it gives you so many incredible qualities that really people can take their whole lives to acquire.  Empathy, resilience, tenacity, courage, knowing your limits, asking for help, a razor sharp radar for what you like / don't (and people!), the list is endless.  You may physically move a bit slower but let me tell you, if I've learned anything over the last 18 years it's that my disability has given me so much value.  Whilst I wouldn't say no to a spinal injury cure, I will never regret the last 18 years - I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing, living where I'm living with the community, friends and family that I have without them.  For this I will always be grateful for my disability!

I hope these five tips are helpful. For anyone finding it a slog at the moment, I promise it gets easier - your disability is something you can't control but how you choose to live your life, you absolutely can!  Choose the best support in people as well as mobility aids and live the life you want to that makes you feel comfortable, safe, confident and most importantly HAPPY!

With love,

Amelia xx